The grey man's debt with the world

If the grey man does not care about anyone, why should he have goals that affect the world? 

The grey man feels to have a debt with the world, he recieved the gift of life, and that means that the world expects him to be usefull, to use this gift. 

He feels guilty of the state of this world, and of these people whose usefulness is comparable to a rock.The grey man wants to leave a better world than the one lived at. 

Some of the grey man goals are referred to that, they can be ecologist, researching projects, studying the past to understand the world ... 

But these goals are not referred to the other people. We can say that he cares about the world, he looks after it. That way he will pay that debt, and he will become absolved of guilt. 

Self-esteem

Grey man's self-esttem

How can the grey man feel nothing? At least he needs to have a little bit to self-esteem to create al this lifestyle to protect himself from the others, isn't it? Not exactly.

The grey man can not feel love, so he has not self-esteem; the most reasonable thing that a person has zero self-esteem  would have is a deep depression, or even he would suicide. 

 But depression makes the grey man feel bad, so he does not have depression; and suiciding would be an obstacle for all his goals, so he will suicide. 

So how ca he live? He feels himself as a third person, maybe as a machine; it is really difficult to exaplain and I do not know how to do it, it is like a different view of people and life that has no name yet.

Indifference means ignorance?

This is not the grey man

I have been told that the grey man lives in ignorance due to his indifference to the others. I want to clarify these two concepts, because the grey man hates ignorance and ignorant people.

Saying that the grey man does not care about other people lives does not mean he does not know what is happening to them, to feel indifference you have to know how are they, how are their lives. But indifference implies also doing nothing about. 

If the grey man was an ignorant he would not know how the others feel, but he knows it.

But if you think that knowing how people feel and doing nothing means to be an ignorant then you can claim: the grey man is an indifferent ignorant, or e the grey man is a conscious ignorant.

The others and the grey man's childish

From left to right: difficult path and easiest path

The grey man feels indifference to the other people, but he has to change that indifference to concern when they are an obstacle for him. 

Is he less grey man for acting like that. The answer is no, the grey man's behaviour is  childish. He wants everything, he works hard to get his goals, but also takes the easiest ways to do that. When I talk about difficult and easy paths I am refering only to that concept, I am not saying that the difficult ones are the right ones or viceversa.

He is like that due to his moral, it is an strong moral, but is childish as his acts. He does not want responsibilities, more precisely, he will response on his acts, but he will be totally in peace eventhough their acts are illegal. He does not care in the repercusions of his acts if he thinks their are right.

Deforming the memory

Grey man's mind

Humans have memory, more or less, but it is a fact. The grey man has memory too.

The grey man has loved, and he has memories about those people who loved. This memories can affect to his lifestyle, and of course, he does not want it.

He self-destroys these memories. He manipulates his mind in order to destroy or to disort these memories. 

The human mind can be controlled, and this procedure requires time and a mental effort. I will tell you what he does: He thinks in fake memories that replace those memories that remind his loving moments. He strongly believes that the fake memories are true, and eventually with the time the love memories will vanish.

This process is slow, but it is possible to make it.

Maybe, in the future, with the advances in technology it will be easier and faster to do that.

A world of grey men

The grey world

Imagine a world of grey men, I do not think it would work. How can the human race survive? People would not have social relations, people would not fall in love and people would not have children. 

Maybe they would have children, but how would they grow without the parents love? They could grow as grey men, they would not have childhood. 

 I do not like this world, children must have childhood; and when they are adults they can chosse whether to become a grey man or not.

Thinking more deeply I can say that maybe this world is feasible, but it is not the world that I want. This world is too grey, even for me. I will think abaout a world with grey men and colored men.

Deserving the no-life

Colored deserve life - Black and white deserve no-life

The grey man judges people, he knows it is not good, he does not like himself doing it but he does anyway. Why does he? Well, he watches people walking on the street and thinks about how their lifes are. He does not care of their problems, he just thinks if they deserve life.

In this world there are a lot of incompetent people, the grey man hates them. He does not want to say that they deserve death, he thinks it, and as an euphemism, he says they deserve the no-life.

Who are these people? Surprisingly a lot. I am not going to discuss about this now, maybe in another post.

Meanness

The grey man and his competence

As I have said the grey man does not care of other people, but he still has some love feeling to someones. 

The grey man has some definied goals, if somebody hinders them the grey man will just have one consideration on him. If this person's goal are better from the grey man's point of view he will do nothing; if instead these goals are not accepted for the grey man he will consider this person as an obstacle and he will be the competence.

The grey man has no moral with the competence, he will attack it in all the ways he has. He will try to start by the legal methods, but he will not lose any chance of destroying it. He will become a real grey man.

The grey man loves

Grey's man heart, now

It is true, the grey man loves, and he hates himself beacuse of it. 

He does not want to love because he depends on the people he loves. So he has a double feeling, he loves and hates at the same time. He loves people because he is a human, and hates them for making him loving them. This people prevent him of being a true grey man, they are the last wall.

The grey man wants to find the way that he will not depend on the people he loves, that way he will lose those feeling, loves and hate, slowly and gradually.

Morality and conscience

The green-grey man

Let's define a little bit this two concepts. Conscience it is a fact that not everybody has, and it is defined by the person's morality. 

Being conscious does not imply that this person is going to pay for his actions, it means he knows the consequences; depending on his morality he will accept or not the consequences.

I can assure that the grey man is  conscious person with a definied morality. And this grey man's morality is  defined by his lifestyle: no loving, no feelings and care about herself. 

But morality implies a lot more of other concepts, such us ecology. The grey man wants to take care of himself, and nature is necessary for living, so he is an ecologist. He also cares about the environment.

Have animals empathy?

Grey's man slogan

I would say that the majority of the population in the world feel empathy, some people feel it more and other feel it less. Well, I do not know if animals feel empathy, I do not think so. The grey man neither, he can not feel it, for him it does not exist. 

So, is the grey man an animal? Of course not, he is intelligent, he does not do his actions due to his instincs; has he conscience? I will talk about it later.

So, how does he see the other people? It is easy, they are other humans, with their lifes. 

Their lifes does not concern him, he just wants to live his life.He cares only of himself. Now I think about ecology. As i have said, I am not sure how the moral of the grey man is, or if he even has it; the same way I do not know what he thinks of nature. Probably his conscience and moral are related to his ecologism.

Is the grey man narcissistic?

From left to right: narcissist and the grey man.

I would not say that the grey man is a narcissistic, maybe he has some behaviours in common, but he does not have a narcissists main conduct.

The grey man has not the necessity of being admired by other people, as we know, he has no feelings and does not want to have strong relations with people. 

Maybe being admired does not build a very strong relation between 2 people, but it is a strong sensation, and the grey man thinks it could be harmful for him. He also has not a big ego, he prefers his non-unhappiness state, where he feels comfortable.

While narcissists feel themselves superior and especial, the grey man feels himself a bit especial, not thinking about he is superior,  but thinking that not many people can understand how he thinks (I don't say how he feels because the grey man does not want to have feelings).

About manipulating people for his own good, well, the grey man has no feelings, I am not sure if not having feelings implies not having morality. I would say that this would depend on who the grey man is. He does not feel empathy, will he feel remorses? Is he a psycopath? Probably, but I do not understand a psycopaths as killers or assassins, I understand them as people who do not appreciate other people emotionally.

The grey man is not narcissistic. The grey man has no feelings, narcissists love themselves, the grey man can not feel love, so he can not be a narcissist.

Note that at the photo they share a part of themselves.

The grey man

The grey man

I would like to summarize the features of what I will call: "the grey man". These features are explaine in a more extensive way at my 3 first posts, but I want to summarize them because in my following publications I am going to compare this "grey man" with other types of human philosophies and behaviour, such as nihilism or narcissism.
So the grey man does not feel love for anybody and is not loved. This prevents him of feeling pain for other people's acts and vice versa. He also does not want to feel happiness or pain, he prefers the neutral state. And finally he does not like being a human, he would like having no feelings.
The grey man is not a sad person, because he is in a neutral state, in an state of non-unhappiness.

I do not like being a human

Heartless = non-feeling person?

Related to my other posts I have to say that I hate having feelings. I believe that life would be a lot easier if we did not have them.

People without feelings would be the type of person that prefers the neutral state than the possibility of having happiness and pain. It is really related to my last post, I speak at the end abaout a feeling of non-unhappiness; now, instead of "feeling" I would say "state".
Now I just can add, relating it to my first post, if you do not want no have feelings, you can not love people, obviously because it is a feeling, a strong one.

I have thought a lot if I can assure that I hate having feelings. Feeling love, pain, regrets, guilt, joy, sadness...
Do I really want to have a life without them? I can not say no, but I can not say yes neither. Is it to extreme? Is it like choosing between black and white? I have my doubts. Most people wants to have feelings; days pass and I think I am distancing of this majority.

Pleasure and pain or none of them?

Is happiness worth?

Pleasure/pain, happiness/suffering, joy/sorrow...

In the previous publication I wanted to relate the necessity of having and giving love with pain and pleasure. Now I expose this thoughts: people's love can make you suffer and can make you be the happiest person in the world, but you will have the two possibilities.

I would like to stay in a neutral zone, where because of my non-loving, I am not loved and I do not love, I do not get happiness and I do not get pain.

I think this is a difficult way of living, it is like a grey life, maybe I like it, maybe not.

Actions do not affect you anymore, they do not make you cry lying on the floor or they do not make you jump of joy. You just get a sensation of non-unhappiness.

Loving people

Metaphor of the 2 types of people hearts, whether they love or not

The majority likes having a family, friends, people around them that make them feel loved and lovers. They base their moral in love, they depend on how people does, how they feel, if they get hurt they will probably suffer too; and if someone who you appreciate does something that hurts you, this feeling of love that you had before will do this person acts worse, you will feel betrayed, and some other things that I cannot express with words.

Where want I to go? Well, I have thought about it a lot of time, and I can say that I am not sure if I want people around me that I love and I don't want also people that love me. What I want to say is that I don't want to love people and feel loved. How have I arrived here?  I don't like hurting people if they don't deserve it, I am no-one to judge people, but I cannot deny that I do it in my mind all the time.

If I don't love I won't depend on anybody's love. If I don't love I cannot hurt emotionally anybody. And if I am not loved people will not depend on me, so again, I cannot hurt them.

Is that a selfish behaviour? I am not sure about that, maybe if you start it having people love you and also having people you love it will be difficult, you may think that is for their safety, it could be, but remember they are losing a friend/partner/family member too. Another way of understanding this is focusing more on yourself, you do it for you, it's your own choice; you will not be hurt anymore, and you will not hurt. I relate this behaviour with a way of thinking of hapiness and pain. I will talk about it at the following publication.

So can somebody without loving and being loved in order to prevent pain? Maybe I will try, I think I am doing some firsts steps without knowing it.